I have not got enough money. Sorry, I feel this may well be a long one.
In the summer me and my friends have all planned to go to Bournemouth (a seaside town in England) for a week or thereabouts. It is all booked, and I paid the deposit of £25 a day or two ago. I borrowed it from my parents, and I'm able to pay them back, I should think.
But that is just the deposit. The actual cost of the place we will be staying in in £80 per person (actually a very good price) for the whole week, not including all the expenses like food and travel. I really can't afford to pay for all of this myself, and I don't want to have to ask my parents for help, because I am so worried about our financial situation at home. I've spoken to my mum, and she has assured me that it is fine, but my dad is ill at the moment- he is able to do shows (he is a puppeteer, for anyone who doesn't know) but it is wearing him down a lot and if he had a normal job he would be taking weeks off work. But you cannot do that with a job like his, if he cancels a show, not only does he not get paid, but we have to pay out compensation. We are doing OK for money, but I'm just worried, because he may have to go to hospital (he is not seriously ill, do not worry).
And another thing that will cost loads is the prom. I don't even want to go that much, but the ticket is £30, not to mention how much I will end up spending on a dress I will only wear once and everyone wants to arrive in a damned limo which adds even more to expenses.
Another reason I dont want to go is because no one has asked me (pathetic, I know) most of my friends are going with their boyfriends, but there are three of us who are single. One is going with another of our boy-mates as friends and it looks like the other 'singleton' is about to be asked by a guy she has liked for a very long time. I'm pleased for her, do not get me wrong, but I hate it that I'm the only one left. The only guy who I want to go with probably isnt even going, and he wouldn't ask me even if he was. It's like I'm always second-best, or in this case third-best and I hate it so much. I try to think positively and stuff, and I can usually put all of this stuff into perspective seeing as it's not even a big deal and I know it, but it does get you down so much after a certain amount of time.
And I'm not even going to mention schoolwork.
I know that I am blowing EVERYTHING completely out of proportion, but thats another thing that worries me, like everyone else can cope with things a lot harder than this, and I'm pretty good at hiding negative emotion, but recently I keep on snapping at my friends which I hate doing, and I'm just getting so impatient, which is just nothing like me. I need to just sit out and chill, but I only have so much time to relax (most of which I spend on here
) so I only get a real chance to think everything through when I'm in bed meaning I can't sleep. The last few nights I havent got to sleep until about one a.m meaning I don't ever get any more than about six, which just contributes to all the stress feelings I am getting at the moment.
Sorry to bring the mood down, but I havent actually told anyone all of these worries, and it's really great to have somewhere that I can vent my feelings. Isn't it strange how I don't even know what some of the UC gang look like and I trust you all so much. You are really great people, all of you (except all the nasty spammers!!
)
What's on Your Mind
but i always force myself to talk to him even if i am ill, which i am alot..but i mean..one special day...one night that we should be together..he cant even drag himself to talk to me a little longer than 5 minutes its so horrible *sighs* we agreed we'd talk tommorow..but its just not the same is it?..tommorow isnt our anniversary or valentines day is it..that was tonight and he couldnt even drag himself online to spend at least half an hour with me.
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