wedding/reception ideas

[blackbird668]

My fiance Mike and I are getting married in October, and we've got most of our plans made, but still have an item or two we haven't decided on yet, so I thought I'd post here and get your opinions.
So I guess I'll start off with a bit of background. Mike and I have both been married more than once before, so it's not like it's our first wedding or anything. Neither of us wants anything big or fancy or expensive, etc, etc. We just don't feel the need for anything extravagant, but we would like to have a celebration for friends and family to get together. We had originally thought about just going to the JP's office for the official papers, and then just having a party of some sort, but we couldn't decide on a date and time or place that would be appropriate for everyone that we'd like to invite. Also, our house is way to small for a crowd of anywhere from 20-40 people.

So I did a bit of research and came up with a small local bakery/tea room that does catering and has a banquet hall where we could hold a reception. They can also do wedding cakes and decorate the banquet room. At this point, I don't know how much money we're looking at here, but I know it's going to be significantly more than just having a cookout at our house, you know?

Next issue on the list, is we don't want anyone to feel that they have to bring a gift. Like I said, we're both adults with "previous lives" and we have plenty of dishes and towels and other household items that are typical wedding gifts. In fact, between the two of us, we have more stuff than we have house! But in the back of my mind is a little voice worrying that people are going to say "so you don't invite me to a wedding, but you invite me to the reception. You're only inviting me to get a gift from me!" And I don't want anyone to feel that way, either.

My third issue is, if you don't have a wedding, but just have a reception, but there are no gifts, what exactly do you *DO* at this reception? Sit and eat cake and look at each other??? The owner of the bakery/tearoom/banquet hall told me that they have had weddings there. I think maybe it might be a good idea to just have a little wedding ceremony there. But of course, that adds to the expense, and it's already over what we'd planned.

None of this puts the reception (or wedding, if we go that route) over our budget, it's just more than we'd planned, but that's not my main concern here any way. I just want to have something nice to invite friends and family to that they will enjoy and that we can have nice memories of, you know?

So, what's your 2 cents worth?

[Ocean]

First off, CONGRATULATIONS BLACKBIRD!!!!! I think that the reception idea you have sounds great and I think that there are plenty of things to do to fill up time. For example, a wedding toast and then some speeches. Will there be music? And what if there was a simple slideshow on a wall with some photos of the two of you with each other and the friends and family who will attend the reception. People will want to mingle as well and talk to the bride and groom. I think it sounds like a wonderful time. As for the gifts, if you feel uncomfortable about it you could request that people (if they want) make a donation to a charity of your choice, or you could ask people to bring "theme" gifts with a low dollar limit. This is fun and you could open these "gag" gifts during the reception for a laugh. Just a few ideas, and again, congrats!!!

[madeupgirl]

Congratulations Blackbird!!!
This is purely what I think but I still like what Ocean has mentioned. That is a good idea..the slide show and the toast etc and music and dance.

Since the two of you have been through all this wedding things before, (so, naturaly your families know and been through the same with you) why don't you both spend the amount of money you plan to spend on this little party and go and get pampered at a nice spa after all the registration stuff is over and spend some quality time at a nice hotel away from family and the ususal things you've already gone through... it will be like a honeymoon but don't you wanna be away from all the hassle you've been through all this time.

For my wedding my parents spent alot of money and there were more than 200 guests (I didn't know most of them) and after our honeymoon again there was this other party (like a second wedding) again with 250 guests some of whom were there for the wedding reception. We both were so tired to even enjoy our time together.

Other thing is invite only the closest people, the ones you know would not think anything ill about the way you've organised anything.

The important thing is for both of you to have a wonderful memory of it and not to experience any uncomfortable or bad happenings or hurtful ones on that special day or after that...

Hope what I typed make sense...

Goodluck!

Ah...don't forget to get a good photographer....

We've got some great photos of our wedding and I don't regret a cent I spent on those...

[blackbird668]

Great ideas!
Thanks!
It's funny, but it's family and friends that are closest to us that are the ones who really want us to have a something that they can attend! We had friends asking us to be sure and invite them before we'd ever even set a date!

Any way, today I went to the tea room and got the food and decorations all lined out. We're having a selection of warm and cold appetizers/finger foods (sweet-n-sour meatballs, spinach dip, little sandwich wraps, and a couple of other things which I can't recall at the moment!) as well as a fruit tray (apples & pears with pecan caramel dip), tea, coffee & sparkling punch, and a wedding cake which is going to be made from carrot cake! Have you ever heard of a carrot cake wedding cake?? I thought that would be pretty cool! Any way, everything is going to be done in an autumn theme.

So I'm looking forward to it now. LOL

[Judi]

Put a disposable camera on every table and ask the guest to take pictures through the night of the special occasion, guests, dancing and the bride and groom. You will be amazed at the pictures people can get and sometimes it nice because you might forget a moment and its a way to have a long term memory of Your wedding. Also have the guest that took the pictures put there name on the camera when turning it in at the end of the evening.

[Rose]

Yes, having cameras on each table is a very good idea.
Don't forget, at the reception, you an have your first dance as a married couple! everyone will be happy listening to music and/or dancing. And the cake sounds lovely!

[Ocean]

Originally Posted by blackbird668

today I went to the tea room and got the food and decorations all lined out. We're having a selection of warm and cold appetizers/finger foods (sweet-n-sour meatballs, spinach dip, little sandwich wraps, and a couple of other things which I can't recall at the moment!) as well as a fruit tray (apples & pears with pecan caramel dip), tea, coffee & sparkling punch, and a wedding cake which is going to be made from carrot cake! Have you ever heard of a carrot cake wedding cake?? I thought that would be pretty cool! Any way, everything is going to be done in an autumn theme.

So I'm looking forward to it now. LOL

Your theme sounds wonderful. Autumn is my fav time of year. So beautiful. The food sounds fantastic. That place you picked out really sounds like a winner. I have heard of a carrot wedding cake. Delicious!! Mmmmmm!!

[Rose]

yes, carrot cake will be so nice. I don't really like the traditional fruit cakes used in weddings usually.
And it all sounds so beautiful! You must post some pictures

[blackbird668]

I love the camera idea!
and music, of course!
Yep, I'm getting into the groove now. I've already started making a to-do list. And I've got an outfit, a top and skirt set that both have a gold lace overlay. I think that will be great for fall.

[madeupgirl]

Hi Blackbird, I just noted down a few things you can write down somewhere as I think it could be helpful…

1. Allow 25% more for extras you haven’t budgeted for
2. You and your fiancé should set your budget and decide who is doing what
3. Give your caterer the final head count
4. BEGIN YOUR BEAUTY REGIME…
5. Book your photographer
6. Arrange transportation to the reception for both of you and other family members
7. Discuss your hairstyle with your stylist and make the booking
8. Buy all your accessories and make sure you make a list of things you need to take to your stylist on the wedding day so that you won’t forget any important stuff (well Ocean can advice you on that better hehehe… )
9. Check the outfit of your fiancé too
10. Arrange for someone to bring the cake knife, toasting glasses or to make sure those are there in time
11. Try on your wedding outfit and practice walking in those shoes your gonna wear and if they are new rub some vaseline on the edges before hand
12. Type up a list of must-take photos and inform your photographer or who ever you have assigned the job to
13. HAVE A MANICURE
14. Keep an energy drink ready at all times on the wedding day (I tried this) so that you never look too tired
15. Pack an emergency kit with needles, thread, hairpins, safetypins, nail polish, extra underwear, hair spray etc…
16. Previous night, take a nice bubble bath and relax
17. On the wedding day, give your self plenty of time to get ready (get up early)
18. Try and eat something before you start everything
19. Send ‘thank you’ notes to everyone who attended and got involved in organising
20. Finally, enjoy your life together as husband and wife….